Monday, October 27, 2008

On Being 46

Some days I really don't feel my age.  I'll catch myself in the mirror and am truly surprised to see an older version of myself looking back at me.  

Other days, it's fairly apparent.  Today, for example, I was looking at all the spry 20 and 30 somethings, and I remember what it felt like to have a body that was lithe, strong and good looking!  Now I have a few wrinkles, a thicker mid-section (that is getting smaller, but still) and bones and tendons that don't like to cooperate as much as they used to.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm still in fine shape, I just don't look the way I used to.  That's fine and I'm not trying to regain the past, but at times, I wonder.....

Here's something interesting about being a woman of a particular I stood at the mirror for the very first time since training began.  Which meant I was closer to the podium than I had ever been.  I was fully expecting to get a lot of corrections, but nothing.  I wonder sometimes, if I am ignored as I'm not as promising as others in the room.  I'm not sure, but it's a thought in my mind.  

This morning, I worked really hard to not only do, but do well all of the postures.  I'm hoping that the cost won't be additional pain in the knees.  They were fairly ok this weekend....but I felt Fred Flintstone throbbing in the studio and after.  So we'll see.  Jacqueline is letting me use her homeopathic pain gel from Holland and that stuff is magic!!  Don't know what's in it, but it has gone beyond ibuprofen as the magic I need.

Ok, better shower up and eat.  We'll have 6 hours of posture clinic today, which means that I'll have to do at least 2 postures.  Better get to it!!

UPDATE 8PM:  Well, it figures, for the very first time, I got called out in class and told I needed to separate my legs more in standing separate leg head to knee.  I have very small feet for my height and have a hell of a time balancing on the way down, while down, and on the way up, so I tend to keep my legs together closer than I should on the way down and up just to prevent falling down, then separate them while I'm in the posture.  Not the greatest form, but better than falling out.  Today I finally got nailed for it, and I smiled like crazy.  I WAS NOTICED!!!!   

ALSO....talked today to a friend around the same age as me, and she too feels the difference in doing this as a more mature person.  She feels frustrated and criticized often in posture clinic, and isn't able to let down a mane of hair like the younger women are asked to do (or at least was asked today).  She also feels that she will be a disappointment to her studio owners.  I told her that although we are all encouraged in similar ways to be very vivacious here, we will develop over time our own style, and if I've learned anything, I know that as a studio owner, I will hire a staff of people with varied styles of delivery, some with lots of "rah rah" energy, some a little more low key.  Because some of the teachers I love here are not appreciated by others and vice versa.  People have different tastes, and I think it's important to give them different options.

Love to all.    


thedancingj said...

Babe - you are not being ignored - there are 300 people in class!! Even when I'm practicing at home with a little class of 20 people and I am right up under the podium, the teacher still doesn't necessarily talk to me, and I am young and pretty. ;) Don't over-analyze something like that!!! There is a lot going on and none of it is personal.

Juliana :)

Duffy Pratt said...

I was pleased to see your goals for teachers as a studio owner. Not only do different people have different tastes, but I've found that getting exposed to different teacher's styles gives a jump start to a practice that may otherwise be stagnating.

BTW, I'm 49 and I take some inspiration from what you are doing. It makes me think that it might, one day, be possible for me as well. (If I could ever find time...)

princess said...

I'm 50 and more fit than most of my younger students so go girl, and this experience will make you stronger