Sunday, October 12, 2008

Emotional Pain, Physical Pain and the Yoga Triangle

A few weeks ago, I talked about my back pain and the feeling I got in savasana that said, "let go of the pain".  I did let go of not just the physical pain, but also the emotional pain of the loss I have experienced.  But I didn't deal with it fully-it wasn't all out.  This week I was in a standing posture, and a thought blazed into my head in bright neon lights, all caps, "YOUR PARENTS ARE DEAD".  I lost it and started sobbing.  Got into a child's pose on my mat, and just let loose.  I had put my hands around my face, like a child, to be alone, but what I didn't realize is that I created an echo chamber and instead of being more quiet, I was booming my sobs about 4 rows around me.  No big deal, everyone here breaks down eventually.  

I have talked about how we are changing on the cellular level, and I really think this is true.  Old injuries, physical or emotional, are coming up to the surface and we have the opportunity in this place and time to heal them, to fix them, to resolve them.  Some injuries can't be fixed, but they can be faced and acknowledged, and I think that those who fight the flow will have a harder time than others.  And the resolution is not just in regards to things that have happened to you, it's about the pain you have caused as well.  It all comes to the surface in one way or another, and stuffing it back is contrary to the flow.  "Let it out, let it go" is one of my mantras.  "Lock the knee" is another, of course.

I just got back from Mega, the awesome grocery store next to Walmart.  It's like a Mexican Raley's.  While waiting for the bus to pick us up, I had the opportunity to sit and chat with my buddy Jodi.  She never ceases to amaze me.  She has such a positive attitude, not naive by any stretch, but solid, intelligent and funny!!!  She said she sits in posture clinic and thinks about making t-shirts with Bikramisms.  She let a few fly and I just laughed and laughed.  I won't share because they belong to her (well, and Bikram), but they were brilliant.  

Ok, off to the pool for the afternoon to study 2 more postures.  

This is a shot of Robert, Erin, Vincent and me practicing our dialogue in my hotel room.  Robert is a yoga champ from Amsterdam, Erin is my buddy from Chicago, and Vincent is a retired school teacher from New York City.  Excellent people all.  

Make it a great day!!! 
Love Lucille


Mel said...

Hey Lucy,
Sounds like I might have to steal Gorky from you for an hour next weekend. You made that massage sound pretty inviting. Couple more days adn we'll be half way through. Keep on keeping on.
Luv ya

bubblestnk said...

Goosey, I'm so sorry I wasn't with you when you had your breakdown love. I know how much losing your parents has hurt you but this cleansing can only be a good thing. Sending you lots of hugs, kisses and love from your Antioch Family.